You are an animal stalking your prey. Write about it from an animal’s perspective.
-Did you hear that? That tapping noise. It’s coming from outside. I’m not going out until it’s stopped. Could be a magpie. Probably won’t be a problem but it’s better to be cautious.
-Move over a bit, will you? You’re crowding me. I don’t usually share this space. Generally a loner, see. I suppose in the zoo you were used to mobs, crowded in together.
-No need to get grumpy. The rule is whoever gets here first gets best place. That’s me, OK. This cool spot under the leaves suits me. See how I’ve hollowed out a little hiding place. Now, unless you’ve got something useful to contribute, go back to sleep.
-You awake? I can’t sleep. I’m so hungry. It must nearly be dark surely. Seems to be cooling down. Since you’re the new boy, how about you poke your nose out the end there and see how the land lies.
-Anything around?
-I mean dangerous things, of course. Didn’t they teach you anything? Kookaburras, number one. There’s often a couple sitting in the branch up above us. Snakes, number two. Slippery customers, snakes. Never seen one myself but heard plenty of stories of lucky escapes. And humans, number three. They blunder around and are easy to spot. Noisy, no respect. I know you probably think humans are the ant’s pants but not out here, buddy. Got the idea? See anything like that?
-No? Well, let’s go. You follow me. If you haven’t done this by yourself before, just watch my signals.
-Ease yourself out gently. The edge of the log is a bit rough. Now follow the smell of water. Pick it up? That cool, reedy tang. It’s strongest over this way. We should be safe if we move quickly through the long grass. Speed in the air is the key. But stay low. Strong take-off but swift. Got the idea? And break the rhythm every so often. Stay down for a bit then a couple of quick ones.
-This is going to be a good night. Plenty of moisture in the air after that thunderstorm. Pretty violent, wasn’t it? Love ‘em myself. Washed you out of your enclosure, did it?
-Hold it!
-I saw a movement. Keep your head down. It’s a human, sitting on that rock. Very restless, keeps hitting himself. Thank God for the mosquitoes. OK, he’s had enough. He’s going away.
-Now, on this last section keep the pace slow. Here near the pond is where we’re most likely to encounter a problem. I just want to get in close. There are a few special places I have in mind where I can hide and knock off the mozzies as they come in.
-Freeze!
-That was close. I forgot to warn you about ducks. They’re vicious. And fast.
-Be on guard now. Wait for the mozzie to land then flick. Tongue out, tongue in. You’ve got to keep your eye on the target. Watch me.
-Oh, yes! Delicious.
-And again. Ah, bliss!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Heather says:
All this time I've been wondering what that continuous noise from the swamp down below is about. I mean, what can there be for frogs to talk about all night long?
Brer Frog talks with his offsider, teaching, coaching, sharing, speculating. We don't actually know it's a frog until the end, which is part of the fun, magic, mystery. (Actually, I'm still guessing that it's a frog.) We're constantly being challenged to apply what we know about the animal kingdom in order to solve the puzzle.
I absolutely love this froggy character. He's so matter-of-fact, competent, and, well, NATURAL. I was enchanted.
From a backstory perspective, I guess there wasn't much, other than Froggie sharing his hard-won knowledge. I must admit to not getting the reference to the zoo. I can't figure how his offsider came from the zoo. Hmmmm.
The dialogue was sparkling, revealing, forwarded the action totally, funny.
Loved it.
So great the way you kept me in suspense about who this garrulous creature was until the end. He certainly enjoyed the sound of his own avuncular voice. Good character development inside a short framework. I pictured Frog talking away with a cigar in his mouth.
These are minor points that occurred to me:
I was somewhat confused by your title: isn't this really a monologue for a protege frog? And, I didn't understand the reference to the zoo.
So great the way you kept me in suspense about who this garrulous creature was until the end. He certainly enjoyed the sound of his own avuncular voice. Good character development inside a short framework. I pictured Frog talking away with a cigar in his mouth.
These are minor points that occurred to me:
I was somewhat confused by your title: isn't this really a monologue for a protege frog? And, I didn't understand the reference to the zoo.
What a fun monologue. I can't say I got that he was definately a frog, in fact I wondered about a lizard. Maybe he could have hopped or something to give us a clue. But the story is about, lets say a frog and his mate who are hanging around the undergrowth waiting for night time. Off they go hunting, froggy giving valuable lessons to his new mate.
I enjoyed the dialogue, really well crafted cool kind of a guy. I particularly enjoyed this description of the kill. "Speed in the air is the key. But stay low. Strong take-off but swift. Got the idea? And break the rhythm every so often. Stay down for a bit then a couple of quick ones"
I too was confused about the zoo and the mob. the tittle confused me because I thought froggy was a mosquito so I read it first from this point of view.
Fun piece. Well done.
What a delightful and creative story. Another story where the predator must spend time NOT being somebody else's prey.
I loved following our frog as he stalked the mossies. Your hero was one of the ones that paid enough attention to all the dangers that he made it past tadpole stage. Smart frog.
I was a bit confused about the zoo reference. It kind of stayed there like meat under my wisdom tooth as I read on, getting more of my attention than I wanted to give. But nice one-sided conversation later where he's showing the new boy the ropes.
ANOTHER good children's story. Must be the prompt that triggered it all.
Post a Comment