You are an animal (pick any animal) and you are stalking your prey – write a scene from the animal's perspective.
I do not take my eye off the river below.
I feel the lift of an updraft. I ride it for a moment, never letting up my watchfulness. I see the shape I am looking for, but it is too deep below the surface of the water. It is Fish. I twist my wing to draw into a circle, all the while watching, watching. Fish comes a little closer to surface. I tighten circle, banking to increase my speed. I do not take my eye off him.
Fish dives deep into the water. Bugger. I pull out of circle, easing up my speed.
Rest time. I will sit on the pier for a few moments to catch some sun. I slow the beat of my wings, I drop my tail to brake. I glide to a smooth landing.
Cousin Gull flies in immediately. Bugger. He sits beside me, not too close. I stand on one foot and fluff. Cousin Gull steps slightly away.
I fluff more. Wind whips my down feathers. Feels cool! I preen, nibbling each feather shaft from base to tip. Wind blows a feather out of position. I tease it back into place.
I secretly eye Cousin Gull. He pretends to ignore me. I turn to stare at him, both eyes. He falls forward, then soars into the air. Good riddance.
Sun warming, wind cooling. All good.
But stomach rumbling. Not good. Go look for bugger Fish again.
I check feathers. Most are smooth; one needs fix. I nibble shaft, vanes, even barbs. Perfect now.
Good to go.
I squeeze feathers small, ready to fly. I lift into the air, make wings big, open slots, flap hard. I feel for currents. Sun high now so will be updrafts. I find a thermal that wants to whisk me up. So up I go, soaring high. Getting hard to breathe, but fun! I tilt a wing and find more lift. Many sparkles on water below. I glide, glide, glide.
Many things I can do! Choice!
Stomach rumbles again; yes, I remember mission. I cast an eye to the water below. Too high to see Fish.
I fall into fast dip. Wings stretch to widest. I pitch forward, find air resistance. Want to do loop! Take wingtip and tilt sharply, go fast into loop.
Oh, right; hungry. Look out, Fish.
I level out at just right height, stare into river below. Fish will come. Fish will come. Fish will come.
Fish! Fish slides through water, not thinking about sky above. I tilt into large circle, waiting for Fish to rise a little. Fish comes higher. I tighten the circle, watching always. I build speed. My circle gets smaller and smaller until I stop completely. I sit on the air, on the wind, on my yearning.
I know how Fish will swim. I twist my head down, flap strong one time, then drop like a lightning bolt. I crash through air, wind, sun. I film my eyes as I strike the water. One heartbeat into the water I have Fish! He is easy this time, I have him by his middle. I twist to return to the air. Fish wiggles, he wants back to water, but sorry, he is mine. Cousin Gull suddenly appears beside me, gliding and hoping I will make a mistake. Can you imagine? – he would rather mooch my Fish than find his own. He has no pride. A cousin with no pride is a danger.
I swing away, leaving a trail of scorn behind me. He does not care. I care. I fly to a post where only one can fit, and carefully raise my beak to the sun. Fish still wiggles but he drops down the gullet perfectly.
Stomach will soon be happy.
Now, where was I?
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3 comments:
i had maybe as much fun reading this as you did writing it, I imagine, Heather.
There was some research that went into this too, I'm guessing, even tho' it's a scene that we've watched occasionally at the waterfront cafe.
I liked being privy to Bird's internal dialogue and thinking, does that ring true? And, wondering how would one know? I pictured Bird as the equivalent of a teenager, not quite got his emotions under control, i.e., it's more fun flying than filling the belly.
The one thing I didn't get was the film-y eyes....
I enjoyed your story especially the way you kept getting away from the goal of fishing and eating, much more fun to fly!! It's a fun and clever piece, where did you get the idea of the lingo, maybe it's bird brain lingo? which is very different. And giving your fish, no name, well just Fish was interesting. You are you? are you a seagull?
With the lingo, I found it a bit difficult to read, I found myself re-reading bits of it. there are some inconsistences, I think you've predominantly cut out the "thes" eg I pull out of circle, but you haven't done that everywhere.
I would have liked to know who you are. I thought the hunt and the catch sounded like an eagle but then you swallowed your fish whole. But diving into a river and flying up to your branch with fish in your beak?
I like the dodgy relationship with cousin Gull. a good fun read.
I like how you lowered your "intelligence" level to that of the bird and spoke from there. Leaving out articles, referring to the prey as Fish. I thought maybe you let the simple talk get a bit too articulate and could maybe have tightened that part up.
I liked the relationship with cousin Gull and Tern. We all know how squacky and thievey those gulls can be and will grab your catch whenever they can. They even do that with each other.
And I too liked the way Tern was torn between food or flight. As master of the sky, flying could easily be top priority.
Another good children's story. Man what a week for them.
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