Rebecca stared at the mirror in disbelief. She blinked, shook her head and blinked again.
“Houston we have a problem.” She continued to stare. “Shit do we ever.”
Rebecca slumped against the bathroom wall, her eyes glued to her reflection. It was 6am and her head hurt. Too many tequilas last night and now this. She stared at the image she didn’t recognise. Her usually lustrous, shiny brown hair hung on her shoulders, snowy white. Not a skerrick of colour to be seen. Her eyes popped red rimmed and grainy. Shell shocked, her body slid down the wall. She landed on the cold tiles abruptly. Every imperfection of the mosaic tiles needled into her naked bottom. Disbelief and nausea engulfed her like a straightjacket. She could barely breathe.
The shrill ring of her mobile broke the silence. Rebecca fumbled in the pocket of her robe. The caller rang off. Closing one eye she managed to focus on the small illuminated screen. She immediately recognised Jody’s number.
Mechanically Rebecca hit the call button. Jody answered cheerily on the second ring. She was way too chirpy for Rebecca in her condition.
“Gidday girlfriend. How’s the head? Sore I bet. You really laid into it last night.”
“You don’t know the half of it.” Rebecca responded. “Perhaps you can shed some light on what exactly it was I laid into. All I can remember was the tequila.”
“Yeah well that cheap Mexican stuff will do it to you every time. I’ve told you before. Hey is Jack still there?”
“Jack? Who the hell is Jack?” Rebecca asked. Suddenly she was bathed in sweat. A hot flush heated her from head to toe.
“Oh how quickly they forget. I guess the answer’s no then. I was referring to that gorgeous hunk of masculinity you snaffled at Pierros. You lucky cow.”
“What? I don’t even remember Pierros. When did we go there?”
“Ah, let me see.” Jody paused. Suddenly Rebecca found Jody extremely irritating.
“Well,” Jody continued “it was somewhere between Barons, The Cauldron and Hot Life.” Jody reeled off the names of their usual haunts.
“Oh my god.” Whispered Rebecca. She had no recollection of any of this.
“Look Jody. This is serious. I am in the bathroom at my flat. I have no idea if what his name is here or not. I don’t even remember him. And my hair, oh my god my hair is totally white. Can you explain that? How does this happen? Tell me how?” Rebecca’s voice reached fever pitch. Her tee shirt was soaked to the skin. On the other end of the mobile, Jody was laughing raucously.
“This isn’t funny Jody. What the hell happened last night? What the hell am I going to do?”
“Lovey, calm down for God sake. You’ll have a hernia if you keep this up.” Jody continued her annoying laugh.
“Calm down? Easy for you to say, LOVEY! What am I meant to do,huh? I’m seeing the MD this morning about my promotion. As if I don’t feel bad enough already, my bloody head is exploding, my hair is white and for all I know an axe murderer’s loose in my flat.”
“I think I can solve this for you if you will just calm down and follow my instructions.”
“Hey sweetcheeks.” A gravelly voice came from the hallway.
“Shit Jody he’s here - quick, I don’t have much time. What am I going to do?”
“Listen carefully” Jody was trying to mask her laughter but Rebecca could hear it “I will say this only once” the fake French ‘alo ‘alo accent was pathetic but Rebecca followed the commands to the letter.
“Place one hand on your head and the other on your stomach. Rub your stomach. Breathing deeply, with the hand on your head grab a decent hunk of hair. When I count to 3 pull hard. One two ..... are you ready ...... three.”
On the count of three Rebecca gave her hair an almighty tug as instructed.
“I really must lay off the tequila.” Rebecca sighed staring at a white wig tightly clenched in her hand.
“Come on honey, daddy’s got a special treat for you.” That voice again. Rebecca stood shakily. Before she had a chance to respond she bent quickly over the porcelain bowl and hurled.
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4 comments:
Kerry says:
This is a great story Peta. You have caught Rebecca's desperate night-after plight to perfection.
The dialogue was authentic and engaging, delightful in fact. I'm still giggling about some of the exchanges.
I think though that the punctuation could do with some tightening up. For example I reckon [ “Listen carefully, I will say this only once.” Jody was trying to mask her laughter but Rebecca could hear it. The fake French ‘alo ‘alo accent was pathetic but Rebecca followed the commands to the letter.] is easier to follow.
I like the idea of the imperfections of the mosaic tiles needling into her naked bottom. You have included some terrific word pictures.
A really fun story, Peta. Not that I've ever been in Rebecca's sitation :-) but your imagery captured both the morning and the night before beautifully. Love the title! - wonderfully two-dimensional.
I found the dialogue fun and captivating. As the story was really contained in the dialogue between Rebecca and Jody, the reader focuses on their relationship. In many ways it appears to be a light, happy, 20's kind of friendship. But why did Jody ring? Just a ritual follow up? To run it in about the hangover? Concern about the white hair trick? Curiosity about the guy (who didn't seem to be quite the gorgeous hunk that Jody deemed him to be)? --- The story might have gained a level of depth if that relationship had been revealed a little, allowing us to know Rebecca better and see what she might gain (lose?) from this adventure.
The tone of the dialogue is great and I reckon marketable!
Thanks for a good read.
A funny story Peta, one that I can sympathize with.
I had a bit of trouble with the ocntinuity. Rebecca must have put on a bath robe (she takes the phone out of it) so she couldn't have passed out in the middle of the night in her bathroom. Yet she doesn't know about Jack, who had to be the first thing she saw when waking before she put on her bathrobe and stumbled to the bathroom. Maybe just lose Jack. He complicates the story too much.
I like her conversation with Jody, her annoying friend who obviously played a major role in bringing about Rebecca's plight.
Fun story.
Terrific beginning. I was there on the bathroom floor with mosaic tiles needling! what a marvellous verb.
This is a great read. Very gripping descriptions and a wonderful conversation between the two girls. I so got Rebecca being irritated with Jody, perfect interaction of the two.
I also got a good sense of the dangers/risks of tequila - you created a vivid picture of one hungover girl.
It was a good fun read.
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