When I look back at what I saw first, what's weird is how come that's what I saw.
I remember lying there with my eyes still closed and thinking to myself, "Wow. I thought I would be going through the world's worst hangover after last night but I don’t feel a thing.”
I remember opening my eyes and staring into this mirror above me and thinking, “Oh my God, my hair’s turned white!” And in the next second thinking “Lumpy, you little bastard! I’ll bet you set this up after I passed out. Oh you are so dead!”
And then from somewhere this little voice kicked in and asked, “Hey how come there’s a mirror up on the ceiling? I don’t have a mirror there.”
The little voice rolled on, “And how come I’m all pale and wrinkled? And why am I wearing a white smock?”
Good questions. Lumpy had gone way beyond practical joking. He was seriously going to die!
Then the little voice popped in with, “Hey, how come I can’t move?”
“Ok Lumpy”, I screamed. But what I heard was a faint, raspy, “Ogaylummy”
And then off to my right somewhere I heard a woman’s voice. “Oh my God, Mr. Johnson is conscious. Marion, call Dr Franks immediately.”
And as Marion, whoever she is, went off looking for Dr Franks, whoever he is, the voice became a face looking down at me.
“What’s happening?”, I asked the face and I heard something that sounded more like “wusabig” crawl out of my mouth.
“Don’t try to talk Mr. Johnson”, the lady said. “We thought that this would never happen. Nobody has ever come out of a coma after 47 years. This is a miracle.”
And the little voice and I were speechless.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Whew; well, that's one explanation! Love the title - it has a nice bit of foreboding whilst not giving the story away. We know it's something a lot more serious that the little voice is giving it credit for, but nonetheless the conclusion is still shocking.
Enjoyed the contrast between the little voice and the actual voice, the young and the old, the teenage and the withered old man.
Your nurse's dialogue could perhaps have been a little more subtle - maybe she's talking to another staff member - the habit of ignoring Mr Johnson for 47 years would die hard.
I want another chapter!
Hi Rick, very enjoyable story. Before I got the end I was sure he was in an asylum. Would love to have known who Lumpy actually was. really interestnig way you told this with the voices, worked really well. What I didn't get was the mirror? anf I loved the last sentence! Great work.
Hi Rick, very enjoyable story. Before I got the end I was sure he was in an asylum. Would love to have known who Lumpy actually was. really interestnig way you told this with the voices, worked really well. What I didn't get was the mirror? anf I loved the last sentence! Great work.
Brilliant. I love your story and it had such an unexpected ending. I loved your "drunk"interpretation of what people, and you were saying and I loved your friend Lumpy.
Well done and welcome back to the writing.
Rick
Well, a bit of a shocker! I am flipped between the real world and an imaginary world and then find I was unconscious for 47 years. Your story creates all sorts of imagining. Also, a very short, short story and a great title and last sentence.
Gordon
Kerry says:
I'm speechless too Rick. Terrific tale and very unexpected ending.
Post a Comment