Friday 12 March 2010

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry! (Eve)

Prompt: Write about a childhood memory of snow.

Hurry hurry hurry, step right this way, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. See one of the great wonders of the world. Witness one of the fantastic phenomena of the freezing climes – all for the incredibly low admission of one thin dime, one-tenth of a dollar – Hurry hurry hurry….

What the @#$%&*!!! Joe woke with a start, shot his warm feet out from the doona and jumped down onto the hard floor. Fortunately, his lamb’s wool slip-ons were right there. Jesus! It was cold! He yanked his woollen dressing gown fast as he could over his flannel p.j.’s. Gawd, it was still so cold.

Looking back over his shoulder as he stole out his bedroom, Joe could scarcely see his little brother, so deep was he burrowed under covers - oblivious to announcements from any circus spruikers. What am I doing, he grumbled to himself? I must be nuts!

Hurry, hurry, hurry…..

Tiptoeing through the dark hall, and down the stairs, careful, but still rushing as he’d been exhorted, he sidled by the creaky spots in the steps to the get to the lounge room.

Joe nestled himself into a corner of the bay window seat, just in time to see the first pinhead-sized icy bits pelting against the glass. They were like ants’ snowballs, so tiny. They melted straightaway because of the difference between the outside and inside temperatures.

Joe snuggled in more closely to the corner of the window seat, knees to chest and pulled his robe even more tightly around him. Now he was starting to get more psyched. See one of the great wonders….

And there. The first floating, lazy flake hit the pane and Joe saw the crystalline shape of it survive for a breath or two, if he had dared to breathe. It lasted long enough, though, for him to see its six sides – and then it was gone! Just like the guy said: one of the fantastic phenomena of the freezing climes.

But hey, these flakes were coming too fast now, Joe thought. As these puffy, light snowflakes landed on the glass, Joe quickly compared them to each other. So far, they were different, just like he’d always heard – some like long thin needles, others shaped liked short columns or stars. He was especially lucky tonight because these flakes were the biggest he’d ever seen – maybe three inches or more in length. Unreal!

Joe remembered something his science teacher had said: it’s the lowest of the cloud layers because they are warmer that produce just the kind of “fantastic phenomena” he was seeing.

Sadly the greatest show was slowing down, winding right down rather suddenly, in fact. The flakes were hardlly distinguishable from each other now, clumping together to form a network of icy crystals on the windowpane – a beautiful pattern but still not as wondrous as the great flake show had been.

The snow show had been extraordinary, all the more for being the blink of an eye in the length and breadth of Joe’s life. He didn’t have a clue in this moment, but but the memory of tonight’s spectacle would be with him until his dying day.

Who was that guy, he wondered, as he shuffled off back to bed.

2 comments:

Scriveners said...

Kerry says:

A boy is woken from his sleep to witness a miraculous display of snowflakes.

I liked how you got in to Joe's head and described him getting out of bed and going downstairs. I liked the image of Joe snuggled in beside the window with his nose pressed to the pane, all by himself.

I found the spruiker's cry interesting although there was something missing for me in how Joe was able to hear him. Was Joe sleep-walking? Was he dreaming? Did he just become conscious that something was going on? And can snowflakes really be 3 inches long? Thanks Eve.

Unknown said...

How fun was this?! - a boy has a dream that filters into his consciousness, wakes to watch a spectacular snowfall, and then heads off back to bed. OR maybe he dreams the whole thing, including the 3" snowflakes. OR....hmmmm... Whatever it is that happened, it's a mysterious blending of dream, unconscious, consciousness and perhaps even spirit.

I loved the quirkiness of the language. The "fantastic phenomena of the freezing climes"...."one thin dime"...."Jesus! It was cold!"..."Hurry hurry hurry"...

Breathtakingly imaginative. I could read it 5 times.