The breathy smell of chlorine evaporating from the water was overpowered by the malodorous stench. Jack and I scrambled from the pool. I felt the bile rising in my throat. I vomited violently into the bushes beside the pool. I was cold and shivering uncontrollably. I noticed the colour had drained from Jack’s face. He was sitting on the damp grass, breathing heavily. Water was dripping down his back. I sat down carefully beside him.
We both stared at the body, mesmerised. It was a girl, pale and bloated. The gentle movement of the water was causing her to bump softly against the side of the pool. Loose folds of her school uniform were floating lazily on the surface, wafting to and fro. I saw that the zipper at the back was undone and the dress was slipping off her shoulders. Her long blond hair spreading across the surface gave a halo effect, the look of an aboriginal Wandjina spirit without the eyes. The underwater lights illuminated her ghostly arms and legs dangling below the surface. Her arms were stretched out as though she were reaching for something on the bottom of the pool. Her legs, bent a little at the knees, floated just below the surface. There were no shoes, no other clothes.
Jack mumbled something incoherent.
I reached over for our towels and handed Jack’s to him. We wrapped the towels around our shoulders. The warmth of the towel kick-started my brain.
“We’re in trouble,” I whispered. “We have to let someone know. We’ll be busted. How do we explain how we come to be here at this time of night?”
Jack nodded his agreement but I could see that he had something else on his mind.
At last he spluttered, “D-Debs. I think it’s Debs.”
Debs was in our class at school. She was a special friend of Jack’s. We had understood that her absence from school this week was because she was sick. There had been no suggestion that she was missing. But she must have been in the pool for a few days judging by the condition of her body. I couldn’t understand how she had been in the pool and not been found.
I was taken completely by surprise, shocked by Jack’s assertion. Again I could taste the bile. My heart was pounding as I stood and flung off my towel. I knew what I had to do before I lost my nerve.
“Jack, we’ve got to get the police.” I could hear my voice shaking. “You coming or do you want to stay here?”
Jack ran after me. He caught up to me at the fence.
“It’s lucky we came in here tonight. I’m glad we found her. She wouldn’t have wanted to be seen like this by anyone else.”
Monday 24 August 2009
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2 comments:
I'm impressed. 6.04 in the morning!
Wow, the beginning is a vivid, horrible image. I feel sick too!! Those first couple of paras are just brilliant word pictures.
I found that the rest of the story fell a bit flat. I was so completely hooked. But how to get from a vivid share to the background story. Is it possible to stay in the experience. I'm not sure.
I'll miss your writing for the next couple of weeks.
Kerry,
I agree with Sue. The beginning of the piece is wonderful. You set the scene so well and as a reader I was totally there in the space. I can visualise the poor girls body bumping up against the side of the pool like a piece of discarded pool equipment. The exchange between Jack and his friend seemed some how to lack intensity given their predicament. You have some great material to work with here. Looking forward to more.
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