Tuesday 25 August 2009

The pool at night

You and a friend break into your neighbourhood swim club late one night for an after hours dip. While splashing around you go into shock when a dead body floats to the top. Worse yet it’s someone you know.

It’s an inky sticky black wall of water. Hugh can feel the gentle jolt of the vibrations through the water as David kicks along behind but the only sound is Hugh’s own breathe as it dribbles through his nose slowly but surely. The water feels cool yet exciting as it forces its way between his legs. Starkers is the only way to swim, late at night, in the dark.

“Phew, give me some air” yells Hugh to no-one as he surfaces. The stars twitter in the jet black sky. There’s no ground light in this outback roadhouse and no moon to disguise the frosted milky way and the intentional Southern Cross. Hugh and David have ridden their bikes 500 kms from Darwin. They had a few drinks as they chucked back an enormous slab of steak and now it was time to cool off. The whole adventure was David’s girl friends idea when she’d dared the boys to drive into the desert to photograph the passing of Jupiter.

“what the .....”. A peculiar mass of body and clothes floats about within just an arm’s length. David surfaces. The body moves. Hugh screams.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaat’s that?” he whispers.

“What’s what?”

“Look you idiot”. Hugh gently paddles the few feet to investigate.

He’s not sure how, but the movement of the water has shifted the body around and Hugh can see the white mask, sunken eyes of a face. He’s drawn forwards. He retreats. He advances. The long pale neck, like an egret escapes the water for a second. The gold gothic cross floats by.

“Shit. It’s Caroline”. Suddenly the night takes on a whole new feel. Red lights flash through his eyes, his heart beat leaps out of the pool with a life of its own, he’s hot like a clammy wet sponge and he can taste the sour stringent bile as his tummy turns somersaults somewhere under the water. Water overtakes his head as he sinks down. His legs have turned to a feeble unset jelly. He floats about for a bit, happier away from the reality of Caroline. He gulps, his nose has run out of air, he chokes on the sudden influx of chloriny water. Survival takes over and he’s back at the surface.

The stars twitter, David sits on the side of the pool hugging his knees clutching the bottle of rum. He takes a swig. The water is black and smooth.

Hugh shakes his head and the long strands of wet soggy hair whip across his face. The water remains still. David is laughing.

“Got a headache mate? Got a hangover?” and he slurps again.

“God David, did that bozo lace my drinks?” Hugh’s mind whizzes back to the image of his girl friend and then wobbles back to the present. His mind refuses to leave it behind.

“It was Caroline. I was bloody sure of it. Right here in the pool. Dead”

“Hey man, that’s sick. Let’s get outa here. Let’s go and find Jupiter”

3 comments:

Scriveners said...

Kerry says:

I think you really took on the lessons from the 'senses' course Sue. This piece is thick with sensual descriptions.

You have chosen a great setting for the story too.

I had to do a bit of re-reading to work out how Hugh's girlfriend came to be in the pool after we had been introduced to David's girlfriend earlier. Perhaps if Caroline had suggested the idea in the first place there would have been a clearer reason for her 'turning up' later on in the story.

Unknown said...

Heather says:

The imagery is wonderful, Sue. I'm really left with a blast of dark, stars, warm climate, cool water -- and surrealism. The human mind is taking all the sensory input and running away with itself. Terrific.

I felt that in the "Shit, it's Caroline" paragraph, some of your metaphors and similes conflicted a bit. Legs of jelly, somersaulting stomach, clammy wet sponge - just a bit of an onslaught!

Have just read Kerry's comment - I think Caroline IS Hugh's girlfriend, right? - and she's psychically followed them on this trip.

A good read!

Peta said...

Hi Sue,

lovely the imagery you created from the beginning. Some great descriptive phrases - particularly like the hot like a clammy wet sponge. The only oddity for me was the use of "happier" as he floats away from the body - I can;t imagine this is an emotion he would feel in the circumstances. A great read and visually evocative.