Wednesday 14 January 2009

Yesterday or tomorrow? (Heather)

If you had to choose between yesterday and tomorrow, which would you pick and why? (500 words or fewer)

The question shimmered in the air: yesterday or tomorrow? Past or future? People everywhere turned their heads, sniffed the air, sensed their way into the familiar question…

Davey promptly picked tomorrow. He paused on his tricycle while he watched Pat receding into the distance, pedals flashing on his Cougar bike. Pat was something else. He did a wheelie everytime he went by and Davey could hardly wait til he was ’WAY past three and could do wheelies himself. But truth be told, Davey only thought about it for a twelfth of a second, and then went back to high speed tricycling. Davey mostly just lived smack in the present, and never bothered himself with yesterday or tomorrow at all.

Nearby, Sal sniffed the question and promptly chose PAST. Up until a few months ago life had been good, really take-it-for-granted good. Year 3 was easy-peasy, Dad was teaching her softball, the baby was really cute. Then the baby had died and things went sour. Sal missed him bad enough, but her mum and dad had just disappeared somewhere. I mean, they were there in the flesh but it felt as if you could just wave your hand right through them. So the answer was obvious. Past, past; what a blast; if the past could only last.

In his bedroom, further down the street, Damon hesitated while he struggled with his tie. TOMORROW, all the way. When you’re 17 and still 5’4½”, when your puke-face is covered with zits, when Mrs K croons, “Oh Damon, what a marvellous test result” and you know you’re going to get hammered yet again in the change rooms, when not one girl will dance with you tonight at the formal… DUH. But in a few months he’d be off to university, majoring in physics, working in the lab, doing stuff he loved with intelligent people. Like most questions, this one was simple.

Across the street, Matthew’s hands shook slightly as he too straightened his tie and cocked his head at the question. Tricky. All those wonderful years of getting to know Victoria, and now, tonight, actually marrying her and having an unbelievable future ahead…so, hard to decide. Either yesterday or tomorrow. Just definitely not today, which was far too scary.

Down the block, Georgia shifted in bed, causing an unpleasant jolt of pain. The question worked its way through the thin mask of painkillers. It’s a stupid question, really. It’s a question keeps you out of the present, and when the present is precious, as things in limited supply often are, why would you ask it? She reached for the hand of her daughter, Annette, who heaved her pregnant body out of the chair near the bed. “Hey, mum, want a cuppa?” Annette clutched at her big belly. “Whew, this guy wants out. And I want him out – I vote for tomorrow.” She kissed Georgia’s dry cheek. “Hang on, mum, any day now.” Inside her, baby Matthew, uneasy at the thickening and quickening around him, could not discern the question.

Meanwhile, the question stirred on its endless, restless path.

3 comments:

Scriveners said...

Jenny says:

This piece really communicates that everyone has their own perspective on the question. I liked the use of many people to highlight the different approaches.

I found it difficult to relate to Damon and Matthew - they felt a bit stereotyped and shallow in comparison with the others.

I particularly liked the way you opened with Davey and closed with Georgia, highlighting that being in the present is all there really is to do, and that being in the present happens most when one is recently arrived or soon to leave this world.

I also liked the description of the grieving parents as insubstantial - very effective metaphor.

Scriveners said...

From Rick,

Another moving piece from you. You used the prompt to show us that the answer will always lie with the beholder, and that it shifts with the context that the present delivers.

I agree with Jenny's critique in that I liked Davey and Georgia's bits the best, but related too well to Damon's plight to consider it trite. I so was there! It made me squirm in my seat.

sue moffitt said...

Hi Heather. I really enjoyed your characters speculating on the question. It's a clever way to tell the story, what wonderful imagination you have. And I loved your opening lines, a very vivid share where I can see and feel the question shimmering. And you tied it up beautifully in the ending. I found each character had a mini story to tell. From here on in we shouldn't be concerned about ONLY 500 words as you've done it with just one paragraph. Well done.