Normally lying here in a hot bubble bath was how I unwound but it wasn’t working this time. I just had another dustup with Marie, a really big one, bigger than we normally had and I was more worried than angry.
The theme of the fight was familiar – another investment of mine gone South, but the strength of her fury this time was over the top. I can still hear her yelling.
“Tom, you idiot. How could you take our last $10,000 and blow it all without even consulting with me? You bloody well knew I was being put on half time at work and that we might need that money to live on. What were you thinking? Oh, wait. My apology. You never think so why would I expect that you would start this time?”
“Marie in my defense I did try and consult with you but you waved me away as usual when you were on that loooonnnnnngggggg call with Tracey. And besides, I didn’t blow it all. Sure it’s down a few points on the ASX but my broker said it would bounce back soon.”
“Your broker said did he. That dimwit hasn’t given you one bit of advice that ever made us money. And down a few points – get real. Our $10,000 is now worth $753 as of yesterday. And while we are on the subject of dimwittedness, what ever made you think that investing in a property trust in Detroit was a good idea? Do you ever read the newspaper? Hello! No one in the USofA is buying cars from Detroit let alone property.”
“Marie in my defense again, that’s what made the investment so attractive.- going contrary to the flow often returns huge rewards and it sounded like a winner.”
“Tom can’t you just be ordinary for a change? Can’t we just do what normal people do? Why does everything you look at have to be so special or weird or abnormal? Why can’t we just invest in a term deposit or buy shares in BHP? I tell you I’ve had it this time. I’m going to talk to mum and I’m not sure when I’ll come back.”
And she stormed out of the house.
I slumped down further in the water until the foam suddenly went up my nose. KERCHOO and there were bubbles everywhere, including in my eyes. God it stung like hell. As I groped around for something to wipe them with, I grabbed a bunch of toilet paper and quickly got the suds out. What does that woman want of me? Does she want me to be like toilet paper? Would that be ordinary enough for her?
And then it hit me. Maybe that’s exactly what she wants – for me to be toilet paper. No, not something to wipe your bum with but something simple, something useful to the world, something familiar, reliable and always there when you need it. And as I lay there in the bath, looking at the wad of soggy toilet paper in my hand, my life flashed before me and damn if she wasn’t right. That’s who I am, always quirky and a bit bizarre. In our 5 years together I never held down a job, never went to bed before 3 a.m. spending hour after hour surfing the net looking for off-the-planet new ideas.
I got out of the tub, toweled myself dry and rang Marie’s mobile. I wasn’t sure what I would say, assuming she would even pick up, but it would be something simple and just what she needs. And we would take it from there.
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3 comments:
Jenny says:
I love it! Choosing toilet paper - just magical.
I would have liked to see more references to the here-and-now in the bathroom interleaved with the remembered conversation, because it's almost done as a flashback. You could also have the memories be sentence fragments and "mental snapshots" rather than every word of every sentence.
I also liked the way you left the ending to the reader's imagination.
Wow, a real epiphany. And it works, because he's so reactivated by Marie's passionate exit.
If you're going to use so much remembered dialogue, you should forewarn the reader. "He could hear every word Marie said, playing over and over like a tape in his head." "...seared into his memory..."
When you get into the present, with the toilet paper (I mean, really!!!!! that is so funny!!!), it gets very immediate.
You create him as such a likeable guy. She'll have him back in a minute.
What a terrific story Rick. I was enrolled and engrossed from the very beginning. I love the way you told the story through his memory and the dialogue is great.
Using I also had me instantly in the scene. Very initimate.
Re POV I think the dialogue created the characters really well. But I just love the bath scene. That is some of the best writing I've read of yours. Brilliant.
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