You were recently laid off. Instead of moping around, you've viewed it as a chance to start fresh. Pick a new career and write about your first day on the job.
I lean my forehead against the coolness of the brick wall and breathe deeply. My heart is still thundering and my face must be flushed to its richest beet red.
In the effort to calm myself, I mentally thumb through the Facebook chat conversation about four weeks ago that started this whole thing.
Me: “i lost my job today. can you believe it?”
Friend: “buggah – no good!”
Me: “boss cried & said i was best trainer ever, so sorry to have to let me go. i had to cheer him up”
Friend: “creep. RU okay?”
Me: “no. am thinking of having a nervous breakdown”
Friend: “is more to story?”
Me: “creepface stopped support payments last month and i had to renegotiate my house loan. cost me $33k in fees”
Friend: “yikes”
Me: “all rels are in South Africa so no one to hold my hand through nervous breakdown, will have to give it a miss”
Friend: “am laughing though situation not funny. only YOU are funny”
Me: “natasha says, mummy you think you are funny but you are not funny”
Friend: “LOL. have you thought about Standup?”
Me: “unlikely to put food on table”
Well, there’s been some water under the bridge since then.
In the spirit of putting food on the table, I dived into my favourite occupation on the face of the earth – looking for work. How I love updating the resume with that skilful walk-the-line between fabricating accomplishments and understating my true glory. Making the hundred small decisions in dressing for unknown strangers. Travelling to obscure destinations and never being late. Smiling and dodging bullets and trying to be nice, tough, competent and flexible all at once. It drove me nuts – but I found a day job that will keep the wolf from the door.
But here’s the thing: I was gripped by the whole standup idea. As a trainer I was used to holding my own at the front of the room. As an ex-South African, I had self-deprecation down to an art. As a mum and divorcee, I had stories to tell to fill a year of nightly engagements. Why not give it a go?
So one afternoon I headed down to the Komedy Klub and introduced myself to Pete the Proprietor. He snarled, growled, insulted me, shoved his big paunch around and ended up inviting me to come down and face the hoards on Wednesday Amateur Night.
Which brings us up to date. Wednesday Amateur Night finished about 20 minutes ago, with yours truly bringing the evening to a close with my first ever 5 minute routine. I did all right. I got some laughs, shovelled dirt all over a heckler, got applause at the end and now am standing here in a dark corridor at the back trying to collect myself.
A voice calls out. “Sunshine, you still here?”
It’s Painful Pete. He spots me. “C’mon to the bar, I’ll shout you a drink.” I follow him.
“Awright, kid. Here’s a scotch on the rocks for a decent show tonight. And $50 for cabfare home. And there’ll be another $200 if you show up on Friday night and make ’em laugh like you did tonight.”
My heart skips a beat. I do believe I hear my new career calling.
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3 comments:
Nice one Heather. Very believable story of single woman coming to grips with being laid off and finding her new career.
I like the Facebook conversation although it does take you over the 500 words. Perhaps you could have told us the rest of the story in a subsequent Facebook conversation.
I'm intrigued by the use of the word 'spot' as in 'spot you a drink'. New one for me.
Kerry
Jenny says:
Love the Facebook conversation, and the set-up.
I also like the "hate this job search" section - so true!
It lost its way a bit in all the explanations in the middle - I lost touch with the narrator's personal experiences in that section.
A really nice career shift, though - I'd have liked to hear some of her jokes!
Terrific story Heather and a fantastic introduction - soooooooo imaginative. Definately had me laughing and a clever introduction to the new career as a comedian.
The middle part of the story is a bit dull and descritpive especially after the great start. I'm not sure you need all the stuff about interviews and things. I would love to have heard some the jokes you told at the Komedy Klub so that the story finished on the same funny note as the beginning.
I loved it and had a good giggle.
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