A chapter of loathing - by Rick

A chapter of loathing? I could write a book. Chapter 1 – Loathing, Chapter 2 – Loathing, Chapter 3 – well you get the picture. Each chapter a variation on the theme of loathing, each one more depressing and filled with despair than the previous, on and on until all you feel like is drinking a bottle or two of scotch to reach the safety of unconsciousness.
How did I get into this state of affairs? How did a fun-loving, bridge-playing, girl-chasing, beer-drinking healthy young 26 year old get into this fine mess?
It all started with reading a book. If ignorance is bliss, then maybe knowledge is loathing. Makes sense if you think about it and that’s what reading a book did for me – it got me thinking. My mentor in this was Ayn Rand whose books The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged left me transformed forever. Up until reading these books, I thought logic was something you used to solve puzzles or program computers. I didn’t draw the conclusion that logic was something that man used to live life with.
As I started to brighten my life with my new found knowledge, I shone it more and more on the social and political arenas of human affairs. I started to read the front pages of the newspapers rather than just the comics and bridge columns. So much was about politics, about corruption, about bankruptcies and bailouts – anything that was sensational.
What I found was that logic had taken a holiday. There wasn’t any. What I found were rationalisations and justifications everywhere to try and explain why some piece of legislation had created a boondoggle instead of the promised Nirvana. And that’s when the loathing began.
I began to take it all personally and very seriously. That $50,000 grant to study the mating habits of mosquitoes was taken directly out of my tax dollars as was the study of Parisienne cafes by my member of parliament that cost me $150,000. Every broken political promise was done on purpose to upset me. I would watch the news on TV and come away seething with self-righteous indignation. How dare they? How could they be so stupid?
I took action. I joined up with a bunch of like-minded folk and created a political party. I ran for office under the Libertarian platform of a minimalist government. When the public saw that they had an alternative to the status quo of big, expensive and all intrusive government, they would leap at it with joy and gratitude.
Not so. Turns out people like governments that promise them things and my cohorts and I were soundly rejected. So my loathing expanded from conniving and corrupt politicians to the public at large. Everyone was conspiring against me. No one took the brilliance of my logic seriously. No one thought of the devastating long term consequences of the actions we were taking. We were all doomed and nothing could be done about it. Armageddon approacheth.
I was very significant. But there was no breakthrough in the loathing until I began to use the logic on myself. Who said I had to take on “saving” the world? I did. Was that a logical thing to do? Had I thought it all out? Did it make sense? Well, no, no and no. What I saw was that I too could take logic and put it on the shelf when it suited me. How about that!
Over time, especially after doing the Forum, I got to see the world in a much more expanded view and bit by bit the loathing evaporated. Yes I still see red when I hear about the latest bit of nonsense from Howard or Rudd or the like but it’s short and goes away quickly like stomach gas.
It’s kind of corny I know, but I would have to say that my life has transformed from a book of loathing to a book of loving. And that is one of the most logical things I’ve ever done.