Saturday 7 March 2009

The apple

“eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” and Susie opens her left eye just a tiny weeny bit. She’s snuggled down in her bed with the pink flowery duvet tucked up around her chin. Her blond hair flops around her head and lies in straggles on the soft pillow.
The moon has managed to squeeze through the curtains and a strong beam of light lands on the bottom of the bed alongside Susie’s big thick red knitted sock. So far the sock is flat and empty.
“eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” this time another stream of light shines in from the hallway as the door gently moves into the room. Someone is standing there. The body is all dark and black. But Susie can make out the long flowing cape that just touches the ground. Her left eye opens just a bit more. She holds her breath. She daren’t move.
“It’s him. It’s Santa” she stops herself from letting him know she’s awake.
Santa creeps towards the bed and the moonlight catches the edge of the cape.
“Oh look, there’s no fur trim” her little brain rattles along.
She opens both eyes but keeps her lashes closed.
“It’s blue. His cape is blue?”
Her tummy does a little shift and she gently straightens her legs. A lump starts to rise from her tummy to her throat. Santa looks straight at her. Susie slams her eyes closed and tries not to choke. She peeps again, with just one eye. The curtain billows and the moons light moves up the room and rests on Santa’s face. Santa is still staring with a gentle smile across his face.
“It’s Mummy. Hurry Mummy, get out of here. Santa will be too shy to come” Susie doesn’t say a word though. She has this weird sort of feeling that Mummy is Santa. Her tummy grumbles and agrees.
Mummy hovers a moment, goes back into the hall and returns with a sack which she rests on the floor. She bends, disappears below the bed and comes back up with an armful of presents.
“There’s my new doll, and look, new books” How Susie stays quiet is beyond her but she knows if she says a word, or even utters a squeak Santa will go away and never, like never come back.
Mummy disappears again. This time she’s back with an apple, a tangerine and a handful of nuts. Although Susie can’t clearly see these things, she knows, from before, that fruit and nuts are always at the top of the sock.
Mummy creeps back out to the hall, the light disappears, the moon goes behind a cloud. The room is really dark, Susie opens her eyes wide.
She pushes one leg to the bottom of the bed. The sock is heavy and lumpy.
“Mummy, Daddy. Santa’s been. He’s been. There’s presents. Can I get up now? Can I open my presents?”
Footsteps land along the hall and the door flings open. Mummy has her pink pyjamas on, Dad his boxer shorts. Mummy sweeps the curtains open and the sun stream in, bouncing across the bed to the red woolly sock.
“Yes darling, let’s see what Santa’s bought you”
“Was it all a dream?” Susie wondered as she emptied the sack on the bed.

2 comments:

Scriveners said...

Kerry says:

A detailed description of a child's worst nightmare -finding out that Santa's not real. You have captured the agony of finding out the truth - or is it? You have really got into Susie's head as her dreams are shattered. Structurally it would work for me to have a space between your paragraphs, makes the paragraph breaks clearer.

Rick said...

Heather says:

An engaging tale of the awakening awareness around the greatest of all childhood mysteries. My favourite paragraph is the very first: I love the description of Susie and her room, and the line about the moon managing to squeeze through the windows. The visual images throughout are very strong.

I wasn’t sure how to sound out the “eeeeeeeeeee”’s – they mystified me. And I got a little lost in the time changes. Perhaps you could have signalled Susie’s falling back to sleep, so that even though Susie might have got lost, the reader won’t.

You really capture childhood!