The Donkey-Brown Coat - by Rick

I remember that donkey-brown coat, bought with my first ever paycheque. I still have it. I still wear it. I’m wearing it now. I was 21 at the time, not certain yet about where I was going in my life nor how far, but even then I knew that going for what I want was important. It set a trend, a path upon which I’ve trodden all my life and it’s gotten me to where I am today.

I stand before you as one of you, brought in by invitation from my friend John here, who’s been a member of this organisation for years and who kept trying to get me to come out and see what it’s all about. I knew I should, but I kept putting it off. I always had some good excuse. I’m not a joiner. I’m not ready yet. I don’t need this. It’s too much effort. And I procrastinated and procrastinated.

Well the final straw that broke my proverbial camel’s back was the magnificent Mercedes Benz convertible that’s sitting out in front of the building. I bought it yesterday and today my wife left me.

So I’m ready to take the pledge. My name is Bart and I’m a compulsive buyer.

Hi Bart!

Phew. It’s taken me 15 years to say that. Everyone else said it. Why was it so hard? This stupid coat for example. What was I thinking? It cost more out of that first paycheque than my rent did. Donkey-brown? Jackass-brown is more like it. I know I’m talking to the choir here, but you should see my house. Well my rented flat actually. We could never afford the down payment, even during the easy credit when no down payment was all you needed. I think my wife married me because of the size of the engagement ring. You guessed it – three months’ worth of paycheques went into that one.

Well I’ve had it. The Mercedes goes back tomorrow. I have a 7 day cooling off period and I’m taking it up. And you can count on me to be here every week, with no new acquisitions either and maybe one day, I’ll get my wife back.