Tony Burns - by Rick

If it hadn’t been for that “meet me at Guido’s Pizzeria” I might have chucked it in the garbage as a bad joke. But it had ta be a legit message from Tony. See, when Tony and I were kids we used to play cops and robbers all the time. Of course Tony always wanted to be the robber. Some guys never change. Even then I should’a known that he was on a dark path. I had a feelin’ in my gut, yah know what I mean? Anyways, when him and me were robbers together, he would always say, “Let’s split up and meet later at Guido’s Pizzeria.” See there never was a Guido’s Pizzeria. That was Tony’s code for the band shell in Lincoln Park. It was our secret that we never shared with the other kids and we’ld shoot over under cover to get away from the cops. Also it was a good place to have a smoke or two and not be seen by anybody, but that’s another story.

See he never left any time on the postcard which is why I’ve been sitting here on this park bench beside the old band shell since 8 this morning. I just gotta know what’s happening.

So I’m sitting there going over the baseball scores for the tenth time when this old geezer sits down beside me and say in this phony voice, “Did the Yankees beat the Dodgers yesterday?” Right away I know it’s Tony but boy has he got a good disguise. He looks 20 years older and smells like some old hobo who hasn’t seen a bar of soap for a year.

“So Mr. T.”, I says. “Nice funeral we had for yah last week. How come you weren’t the guest of honour?”

“That’s funny Rocco. I can see you should have been up doin’ the service instead of Father Liuzzo. But shut up a minute and listen ‘cause I can’t stay here long.”

“As you can see, I’m not dead, never was. But Jesus, it was close. I was playin’ my usual Friday night poker with the boys and Gino, my driver, comes down with a severe belly ache around 11. Or so he says. Anyways I tell him to go on home and leave me the car. I’ll drive myself home later. I’m on this lucky streak and can’t lose a hand if I try. Guess it was a sign or somethin’. Anyways I play until around 3 and the other guys finally start packin’ it in. No money left! I was so hot that night. (Maybe I should’a smelled a rat. Who knows? Who cares?)”

“So I go out to the street. It’s all deserted as you’ld guess at that time and I look down the block where my car’s parked, and it looks like someone’s inside of it. I go to take off when I hear the engine start and then WHAM, there’s this explosion and the whole car goes up in flames. I’m knocked to my butt and when I get up, the car’s this ragin’ inferno.”

“Well my mother didn’t raise no idiot so I turns and hot foots it the other way as fast as I can. I hide out in this sleaze-bag motel and later watch the news report of how Tony Soprano, noted New Jersey gangster and Mafioso Don, was burned beyond recognition in what was said to be part of a gang war or somethin’. Body damaged so badly that even the teeth were ashes.”

“My first thoughts? Revenge. Nobody does that to Tony Soprano. But then I gets to thinkin’. That could’ve been me. It wasn’t the first time somebody tried to take me out. And I’m not getting any younger. So I calmed down a bit and worked out this plan.”

“I’ve always had two or three fake ID’s and I’ve got five or six million bucks offshore in the Caymans. Maybe this is fate telling me to take my retirement. Maybe that was my lucky night and maybe I’ll never get a break like that again.”

I was stunned. When I finally could say something I asked him, “So Tone, We haven’t hung out since we were kids. What do you want me for now?”

“Rocco you’re the only person in the world I can trust right now. Here’s an envelope. When I leave here open it and follow the instructions. There’s $100,000 in cash for your troubles. It’s all legit. Just a few things to pass on to Carmela and how to find me later. No way can you get in trouble over this.”

I sat there and already knew what I would do. Blood is thicker than water and our friendship was thicker than blood. We said our goodbyes and I knew it was goodbye forever again.