Sunday afternoon warfare
throats raw from laughter
enemies crouch in dry grass
as green melons burst
Avoiding duties
pungent hay-bale hide
mutes mother’s call to wash-up
Enid Blyton trumps
School play
pillow-stuffed butler
shy child playing pompous Jeeves
delights audience
Alternative titles:
hiding the child
behind the scenes
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Jenny says:
These are great, Kerry!
I particularly liked the second one, in which Enid Blyton trumps - having whiled away many an hour reading "The Secret Seven" in my youth!
The third one didn't flow as well as the other two - I think possibly because the other two both had a third line which caused me to go back and re-read, and changed the context or image. The first one added flying melons to the scene, and the second explained the hiding, while the third line of the third one wasn't as strong.
There was a lot of sensory information in the first two, which made them powerful, even though there were few words.
Actually, re-reading them again, I think I like the first one best, because each line reverses the mood and adds a layer to the image, as well as a layer of sensory information. Really well written!
Heather says:
Hi Kerry - loved these beautiful evocative haikus. Each is a melon-slice of childhood - of MY childhood, though I don't know how you knew.
As should be the case in a haiku, each word is rich.
I love the second one best, as it is most familiar!
I think I like "Hiding the child" - especially when it's a part of your book of Haikus and Other Short Poems.
Post a Comment