Tuesday 15 June 2010

based on something that happened in the last few weeks (thankfully not to me!) by Peta

“Explain this to me” Gemma said as she slammed the mobile on the coffee table.

“Later babe” Joe said not taking his eyes off the TV. “Yes!” he screamed leaping from the sofa, throwing his hands in the air, thanking the gods. On the screen the football was sailing through the air between the goals posts. Joe was elated that his team was in front and almost certainly on the way to victory.

“Not later NOW!”

There was no mistaking the urgency in her voice. Joe turned the TV to mute and looked up at Gemma. Gemma’s face was beetroot red. Moisture dampened the corners of her eyes. He picked up the phone and checked the screen.

Joe’s heart raced as he read the message “hey sweetcheeks, i miss u bed cold without u. When will i c u agin? xx”

“Shit” Joe said. He lifted his eyes to meet Gemma’s. Her stare cut to his core, both ice and fire laced with hate. Deep hatred and pain. Her devastation hit Joe like a brick wall.

“Gemma, honey. I am so sorry.” He knew there was no possible way he could deny the liaison. He moved towards Gemma, arms extended. His mind clicking over. Gemma pushed him away, backed off and bolted to the bathroom. The unmistakable sounds of vomiting filled the silence.

In an instant he despised himself for what he had done to her and for what? A few meaningless moments of pleasure. It was never meant to go so far but Linda had become an addiction. Or was it the sex? He certainly was not in love with Linda. He’d have to break it off immediately. He knew he should have a long time ago. Joe hurled the mobile against the wall. In pieces it felt to the carpet.

Gemma emerged from the toilet and moved behind Joe speaking softly but controlled.

“I’m going downstairs to the laundry. I want you gone by the time I get back. Take what you need. I’ll pack the rest and send it to Pete’s. Don’t call me. Ever.”

“But Gemma, it means nothing. You are everything to me.”

“Evidently I am not enough for you. That’s pretty obvious. And I don’t care what it means to you.” Tears streamed down her face as she hurried on, now shaking uncontrollably, her arms wrapped tightly around her midriff, barely pausing for breath. “What it means to me is that I can never trust you again. You have deceived me and ruined whatever it was we had together. You’re a liar and a cheater and that’s all I need to know. I am not interested in any explanation or excuse. I thought we’d have kids and grow old together but that will never happen. They say a leopard never changes it spots and I stupidly thought they were wrong. You were a cheat when we met and you're a cheat now. I guess this is what I deserve for getting involved with you in the first place. This is my comeuppance. Well so be it. Now pack up and get out!”

With that she walked calmly to the door and was gone.

4 comments:

sue moffitt said...

Hi Peta
This is a very powerful story, I was right into the plot from the very beginning. The character development is clear, especially Joe. His absorption with the footie following by his self talk about how to make amends. what a sleeze bag.
There are some very great word pictures mainly around Gemma's emotions. eg Her stare cut to his core, both ice and fire laced with hate. The description of her actions and emotions are really gripping, I was with her every step of the way to the Laundry!
Your story is a great read. I'm back and enrolled in writing. Thanks.

Unknown said...

Love the story! Had me hooked from the beginning! I am now following you! You can follow me @

http://mymodernguide.blogspot.com/

Beki :-)

Unknown said...

Hi Peta! - another can't-stop-reading story on the human condition.
Especially interesting that you told it from Joe's point of view. We get a look into his soul (seems pretty empty) through his reaction to the events around him. And another very different look through Gemma's eyes. As the reader, we get to choose. Fascinating!
I would have loved a slightly more solid take on "You were a cheat when we met..." I'm thinking he cheated on a previous wife or girlfriend with Gemma, and she ignored the warning signs, now getting her "come-uppance". But I'd love to know for sure that's what happened.
A NOVEL on this one might satisfy me!

Scriveners said...

From Rick

Glad to here this was just a story. This is another gut-wrenching tale. Joe is stepping out on his wife and got caught. Any man's worst nightmare and he doesn't get off the hook.

A recommendation I would make would be to make Joe even more of a creep. I can't see him being devastated by this, nor cut to the core. More he's just sorry he got caught. He doesn't feel anything except annoyance at himself for being so careless. Don't leave him with any redeeming character or we might start to feel sorry for him.