Light And Polite
I did see it, the day we met,
I saw the sudden blaze,
And smiled politely, nodded lightly,
Breezed on, to other days.
I did feel it, when we talked,
A deep, compelling draw,
And chatted lightly, listening politely,
Always wanting more.
I did know it, the day we kissed,
From lip to heart to soul,
And nodded politely when you left so lightly,
Two parts no more a whole.
We both resisted, yet it persisted,
And like a gravity well,
We spiralled politely, pretending lightly,
That neither of us fell.
I did say it, so much later,
When I give up the fight,
And impolitely held you tightly,
Through an endless night.
So many wasted years, my love,
When you were "just a friend",
Who chatted lightly, and shook hands politely,
But we got there, in the end.
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3 comments:
Heather says:
I love this response to the prompt - a very clever "hiding".
The evolution into the light was perfect. First to see it, then to feel it, then to know it, then to say it.
I loved the stellar imagery - "sudden blaze", "deep, compelling draw", "like a gravity well".
The structure really spoke to me, as did the positive direction of the relationship. And to think that it also rhymed!
The only thing I might suggest to change is something around "Two parts no more a whole." I think at this stage they were two parts becoming a whole.
It's a wonderful poem, Jenny. Thanks!
Jenny I'm so moved by your poem. I'm present to the lack of technical skills that I have when it comes to commenting on what you wrote. I don't know whether you have created a whole new structure for a poem that others may now copy or whether or not you've added a new work of art to an existing one.
If I was more clever at this I would say things like Heather said.
I will just finish by saying that you better get this off to the outside world and get this published so that more readers can be delighted than will ever show up at our blog site by casual surfing.
Kerry says:
This piece gives me goose-bumps Jenny. It is such a poignantly emotional telling of two people falling in love. I can only assume that it is your own story but if not then you have told it extraordinarily well. I loved the way you changed the structure ever so slightly when you 'impolitely held (him) tightly through an endless night'. What a relief to finally give up the pretence and the politeness at last!
Absolutely delicious. Thank you.
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